The more I look around and listen I realize that I'm not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. No choice. However messy is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it's only our own confusion. I am in the middle of growing up and into myself.

So as it says above I have been thinking. But then again when do I not right!
In the last few weeks I have been reviewing all of my decisions and actions I have made and from that I have come to the realization that I am not alone. I'm not the only one that has all of schools pressures and unreasonable deadlines. I'm not the only one that has loads of homework, and parents that are constantly nagging for you to do other chores, when I already am busy for 7 hours a night working on those projects and assignments given by the teachers that are always saying we will only have 2 hours worth of homework. I'm not the only grad that has to worry about filling in multiple scholarships and bursary's. I'm not the only one that enjoys helping others whether it is my friends, family, coworkers, or myself. I enjoy it and even though it can be stressful sometimes it is my choice to begin with to help them. And for that I'm thankful for those who have come to ask for my assistance.
I'm an independent person and like many I don't like to rely on others. For one, it places more pressure on them and I feel that, that can only make their day more difficult. I have a sense of pride and joy when I know I met my standards or I completed a task with little to no help. It's just who I am.
Like I said the more I realize I'm not alone the more I see that everyone makes decisions and those choices that are made define who we are as people whether you see it or not it could be now or in the future. The end result is what we have done for our selves and others.
From the 'Dead Poet's Society' Robin Williams says "Lads, we are all food for worms" sure that freaks me out... but I know it's the truth. It's to remind us all that in the end we are all the same result. But while we are living we want to show who we are and project the proper image that we want others to remember.
I live today as it is, and what I make it, I think of tomorrow and I am thankful for it will hopefully arrive and from there the future is what I define from today.
Every choice I make today will show who I am for tomorrow and later on in life and I am fine with that. I am happy with who I am, and for once in a very long time, I'm proud to say that sure I have my regrets but those actions I took are what made me who I am, and for that I'm glad I went through all that I have.
So I would like to say thank you to everyone that has been apart of my life, whether it has been good or bad times, our choices are the sum of our lives, so thank you.
Just some thoughts from the morning

So this was starting off to be the 25 things about myself but then I couldn't stop
Here is some random things that you might not have known about me, but by all means throw some questions and comments out

1. I love being on my own, it doesn’t bother me, I am an independent person.
2. this might sound snobby but I know what im doing and I don’t need help if I do I will ask, im stubborn that way
3. I love to visit different places in Canada, im not like a lot of ppl in the fact that they want to travel to far out countries ect. I like to stay in a familiar place
4. My main fears are getting too close to ppl and losing someone I luv
5. My phobeas are grasshoppers, worms, snails, slugs ect… everything without out legs except snakes…
6. I use to be very obsessive with ketchup… I had it on everything even ice cream and sometimes chocolate… everything but fries!! but not anymore
7. I change my personalities everytime I move and this time I like it best!
8. not everyone’s opinions count only the people’s that are close to u and u can trust
9. I trust very few ppl
10. I cry quite often it’s my time to express how I feel and yet I do it when im on my own
11. I do care if ppl are hurt or are being hurtful it drives me absolutely up the wall when I see or hear that, I don’t like to see that and it upsets me overly… I try my best to help ppl or just to be there to listen because anyone that is upset really just wants to be heard they need a shoulder to lean on…
12. I have many nicknames!!! all of which I will answer to! im not listing them all but here is a few: wigglybeans, wiggy, jigs, beaner, beans, WS, pookilumpkins (old one), ms. buggins, bird, tweety, ect… lol
13. I am the kind of person that needs a schedule, if I don’t I freak out I have my days planned out and that’s just how it is… if it gets messed up or something unexpected happens then I don’t feel good, I feel lost, and I can’t catch up, I need routine! Example: work! here’s an example of what I do… at the beginning I joined both our mid-day and closing checklists to make my own with times beside each one to tell me what time each job should be completed by, if that does not happen I start to stress out because im afraid of staying late or forgetting something
14. I get stressed really easy! to the point where I will have a medical reaction…
15. I may seem like the total goody goody but you don’t know the whole me there is things that you would be surprised that I have done haha
16. Multiple choice screws me up… so many choices so many options and ways to work around the answer to the point where all of them can be right and I get overly confused
17. I like to be busy if im not then well this happens I write out random notes
18. I have an art site where I post a lot of my photography, I enjoy taking pictures of scenery and waterscapes
19. I say I luv lavender/purple but really it’s the person that I luv that loved it… my grandma’s favourite colour and its apart of me now
20. there is not one day that goes by that I don’t think of my family even the ones that aren’t around and my friends whether I live near them or not…
21. I constantly think of negative aspects and yet I tell ppl to think positive (I should practice what I preach) and I am always thinking of “what ifs!”
22. I am always comparing things or events to parts of my life… anywhere from ppl’s problems/issues to music and what is the symbolism behind it
23. I answer anything that I’m asked to the best of my ability… if I say I can’t say there is a reason for it and there is not need to push to find out because I will keep it to myself… if you tell me a secret or something you don’t want ppl to know I will keep it
24. I like to give my input on a lot of things, I just will normally wait till its asked.
25. I have lots on my mind and lots of questions to ask, yet I don’t say it… I figure that one day it will all work out and I will find out on my own
26. I love spending time with my friends and I love the fact that is GRAD 09!! im so happy about that and the fact that I met a lot of ppl this year even though it is the last year and I don’t know the likely hood of how much it’s all going to stay together, im happy to say I have made friends that im sure will be kept forever
27. I love listening to music but not when im doing work… it’s too distracting because I like to sing along and I get out of control lol
28. im not good with public speaking I get embarrassed and I lose my words
29. I don’t like being spontaneous
30. I don’t take compliments easily, in fact it embarrasses me
31. I have lived from coast to coast of Canada and have met many great ppl
32. I love camping and exploring
33. I go for random walks to clear my thoughts
34. sometimes I go to a place where I know I wont run into anyone I know to sit and just think about everything
35. I always go to bed with something on my mind
36. I rarely have a time when nothing is bothering me
37. I feel like I have to take a lot of matters in my own hands
38. I dont like working in groups for projects
39. looking at art gives inspiration
40. I write poetry if I need to show my emotion
41. yes I have a bucket list
42. I have no confidence, if I do at all it’s so little that it doesn’t help
43. I fully support the forces!!
44. I hate it when the Canadian flag is not treated with pride, I hate seeing it torn and tattered, I hate seeing it being represented by a marijuana leaf!!!!
45. my brother absolutely drives me nuts and he’s rude and inconsiderate, I don’t understand the whole concept of when we get older siblings will get along like good friends… I just don’t see it happening
46. Live life to the best of your abilities, you never know when your last day is going to be. Have fun while it’s here, Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction… just keep thinking the best way to see the future is to create it! Think POSITIVE and live with little to no regrets!
47. P.S. even though I just said all of that I’m working to believing it, and therefore I need all the support I can get to believe it! Happy GRAD 09!!

I'm happy with the life I have and even though I have made mistakes I know that everything happens for a reason even if you cant see it right at that moment, it will become clear in the future

1 Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"benzol. Workers lined the docks and fire launches raced out from"

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
the person who sits beside me in BCA her purse

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
CBC Parliment News

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
840am

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
845am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
my teachers music

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
about 25 min ago i was biking to school

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
school website for announcements

9. What are you wearing?
jeans green sweater underwear...etc. the regulars

10. Did you dream last night?
oh likely but i have no idea what about

11. When did you last laugh?
well a short little chuckle was this morning talking to terynn... but a good laugh was at work on wednesday when terynn and i were working

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
shelves and books

13. Seen anything weird lately?
my brother

14. What do you think of this quiz?
its the usual questions but kinda a waste of time but i got some time to waste anyways so here we are

15. What is the last film you saw?
oh ummmm... i cant remember maybe "concealed tears"

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
a car, a really nice camera that so i can move towards better photography... put some money away for school and quit my job i would finish my christmas shopping and pay off my parents bills and mortgage

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
hmmm i dont know... i really dislike my brother but u all know that if u read my first journal... oh i dont know i have a huge phobia of worms!!

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
i would ask for everyone to be equal with no racial jokes or bullying

19. Do you like to dance?
when i can yes

20. George Bush:
lol no comment

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Celina May ________

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Daniel James _______

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
no i like canada and i know that i feel safe i dont think i would want to change nations

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
that i did all right

25.Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
who ever reads this must fill it out unless of course u have already...

THE MISSION: GET THROUGH THIS MASSIVE QUIZ TRUTHFULLY.
Time Started: 1108pm
Full Name: Ashley Dawn Giesbrecht
Gender: female
1.) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
start the water then get in
2.) Do you read the label on shampoo bottles?
always haha
3.) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercials?
Definitely not!!
4.) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
lol no
5.) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
haha yes.... awkward but only when we were younger obviously
6.) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
no
7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
haha always that would be why i always have bruises on my feet haha
8.) How old do you look?
ive been told i should be just entering grade 10
9.) How old do you act?
ive been told i act way to mature! but i can prove ppl wrong easily
10.) What's the last song you heard/sang?
love story - taylor swift
11.) Have you recently become a member of anything?
facebook groups
12.) What are your plans for the weekend?
working, hopefully going out with Paul, and saying goodbye to my mom
13.) What is your mood at the moment?
im in a terrific mood!!!
14.) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
no but i have always wanted to!!!
15) Do you ever intentionally vomit after drinking?
nope i dont drink
16.) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
i would want to work up in the crows nest
17.) Have you ever called anyone a slut
no just promiscuous
18.) Has anyone ever called you a slut?
lol NO
19). Have you ever smuggled something into America?
nope (who thinks of these questions?)
20.) Does playing a guitar make someone more attractive?
dunno... its a nice thought i guess but i dont really care
21.) Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
ummm... i think so haha Bruins?
22). Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
all the time
23). Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
yes
24.) What's your favourite super hero?
spiderman
25.) Do you have more enemies or more friends?
more friends
26.) Have you ever sent an anymonous letter?
ahahah yes
27.) Can you fix your own car?
if i had a car then yes i know all the basics
28). Do you like staying up late?
definitely haha thats how i sleep
29.) Are you smarter than your friends?
nope
30.) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
ummm... pizza pops from PJS!!!!
31.) Have you ever been to jail?
for a tour yes
32.) Last thing you bought over 50 dollars?
my prom dress
33) Do you like the smell of beer?
nope
34.) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
can never remember them
35.) Have you ever given to charity?
all the time
36.) Would you kill a dog for $10,000?
NO
37.) Do you ever get depresseed?
yes
38.) Do you live with your parents?
yes
39.) Do you have plans for your future?
yes... doesnt every one
[ ] under 5'4
[ ] 5'4"-5'5"
[x] 5'5"-5.6"
[ ] 5'6.5" - 5'7 ''
[ ] 5'7" - 6'0"
[ ] 6'1" and up

NATURALLY
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] brunette
[ ] dirty blonde
[x] brownish
[ ] dark brown
[ ] black
[ ] red/light brown
[ ] don't know, dyed too much

[ ] blue-eyed
[ ] brown-eyed
[ ] black-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[x] Hazel-eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[ ] blue/green-eyed when the suns shine'n
[ ] blue/gray-eyed
[ ] green/gray-eyed / blue when its raiding
[ ] they change colours

Your favourite colour(s) are?

[ ] red
[ ] khaki
[ ] aqua
[ ] pink
[ ] hot pink
[ ] yellow
[ ] black
[ ] green
[ ] lime green
[ ] blue
[ ] white
[ ] turquoise
[ ] silver
[x] purple
[ ] seafoam green
[ ] brown
[ ] orange
[ ] grey
[ ] fuscia
[ ] maroon
[ ] gold
[ ] teal
[ ] coral
[ ] clear
[ ] bronze
[ ] i don't really care
[ ] rainbow
[ ] i basically like all colors

Your personality is sometimes...

[x] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[x] laid back
[x] strict
[x] hyper
[x] sarcastic

You like listening to:

[x] pop
[x] country
[ ] christian
[x ] orchestral/classical
[ ] techno
[ ] oldies
[ ] opera
[ ] 80's
[ ] disco
[ ] rap
[ ] classic rock
[ ] punk
[ ] pop punk
[ ] metal
[ ] reggae
[ ] rock
[ ] alt/indie rock
[ ] emo
[ ] foreign rock
[ ] lots of different stuff

The pets you have HAD?

[x] cat
[] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[ ] mouse
[ ] hamster
[x] dwarf hamster
[ ] ferret
[ ] bunny
[x] fish
[ ] horse
[x] frog
[ ] hermit crab
[ ] turtle
[ ] hamster
[ ] snake
[ ] gerbil
[ ] guinea pig
[ ] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] baby chicks
[ ] baby ducklings
[ ] none
[ ] hedgehog
[ ] snail
[ ] piranha
[ ] parrot
[x] newt
[ ] pigeon



Do you shop at stores like Aeropostale and American Eagle?
nope
How do you make money?:
i work at Booster Juice
How's the weather?:
it would be 12 degrees and a little bit cloudy but still green!
Favourite pair of shoes?:
runners
Do you own big sunglasses?:
i own some i never wear them
Do you find yourself attractive?:
no
What should you be doing right now?
reading haha in bed
Who did you hug today?:
my dad and mom
How many beds did you lay in yesterday?:
ummm... mine
Name one thing that you do everyday?:
live life!
What's the colour of your bedroom walls?:
lavender
How much cash do you have on you right now?:
i dont carry any on me at home
What's your favourite sport?:
swimming, badminton, biking, river rafting i like the outdoors
When was the last time you saw your dad?:
an hour ago
What did you have for dinner last night?:
i went to triple O's for a burger and fries
Look to your left, what do you see?:
my comfy bed!
Do you have plants in your room?
ummm 4 year old flowers that are dried but no plants that are green
Recent time you were really upset?
last night
Time finished: 1146pm

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 238 movies on this list. Copy this list mail, go to your own DA account, paste this as a journal entry. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click send at the bottom. Have fun!

(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x)Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() King Kong

Total so far: 8

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving Christmas
(x) Flubber

Total so far: 14

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Man of the House
() The New World
() Casanova
() Oliver Twist
(x) The Da Vinci Code
() Happy Feet
(x) Casino Royale
() Borat
() The Departed

Total so far: 17

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 22

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
() Ocean's Eleven
()Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George

Total so far: 25

( ) Christine
(x) E.T.
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 30

() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() Terminator 2
() Terminator 3

Total so far: 33

() X-Men
() X2
() X-Men: The Last Stand
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
() Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 41

(x) Miracle on 34th Street
() Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Kippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-Year-Old Virgin
(x) Halloween town
() Wedding Crashers
(x) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Sponge Bob Square Pants Movie
(x) Madagascar
() Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Total so far: 49

() Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
() Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
() Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
() Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 51

() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
(x) Crash
() Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
() Kicking and Screaming
() Munich
(x) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
() Pride and Prejudice
(x) House of Wax
() Cursed

Total so Far: 55

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
() Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
(x) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
(x) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(x) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(x) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Total so far: 61

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 Days Later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld

Total so far: 64

() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness

Total so far: 64

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
() Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
() Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
() Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 67

() The Matrix
() The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal (the begining)

Total so far: 68

() Batman Begins
(x) Hitch
(x) Fantastic Four
(x) Chicken Little
(x) The Pacifier
() The 40-Year-Old Virgin
() Saw
() Saw II
() Saw III
() Scream
() Scream II
() Scream III

Total so far: 72

(x) Cheaper by the Dozen
(x) Cheaper by the Dozen 2
() The Dukes of Hazzard
() The Exorcism of Emily Rose
() Sin City
() Herbie: Fully Loaded
() Jarhead
() Cinderella Man

Total so far: 74

() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie II
(x) Scary Movie III
() Scary Movie IV
() Failure to Launch
(x) The Pink Panther
(x) The Santa Clause
(x) The Santa Clause 2
(x) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

Total so far: 79

() World Trade Center
() Step Up
( ) Miami Vice
() Flushed Away
(x) The Shaggy Dog
(x) The Benchwarmers
(x) The Guardian
(x) Nanny McPhee
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() The Illusionist
() Snakes on a Plane
(x) She's the Man
() The Wicker Man
() The Covenant
() The Black Dahlia
() Flyboys

Over all Total: 84

ahhaha yes! I don't waste my life just watching movies